An open letter to anyone who will listen:
First off, my name is Callum Reed. I’m 36 years old and live in Birmingham. I’m not sure that matters, but I thought it might be better
for this letter not to be completely anonymous, because it could just sound like a series of complaints. I hope it doesn’t though,
because that’s not really the spirit in which it’s intended.
It feels like every time I go anywhere or buy something, I’m always being told: “we want to hear your feedback.” Even on the motorway,
I see signs on the backs of vehicles asking: “how’s my driving?” And while I appreciate the offer, using your phone on the road is
hazardous at the best of times – let alone whilst tailgating a twenty-tonne refrigerated lorry.
But every time I do respond to these invitations, be it with a tweet or by typing 1, 2 or 3 on my mobile phone screen whilst listening to
a recorded voice message, I get the sense that nobody’s listening. I’m not saying you aren’t interested in your customers’ happiness.
But it feels like you’re not listening to me, specifically. So, in the spirit of collaboration, here’s some constructive feedback.
This is all in no particular order, but air travel seems like a good place to start. Airlines: thanks for letting me go online and select my
preferred seat (I can’t sleep unless I’m next to the window), but we can do better, surely.
Remember the days when we never had to pay for our meals? Can’t you just charge me a little bit more for my ticket, and give me a
meal for free like you used to? Same with my baggage allowance. Now everybody’s trying to drag their case onto the plane to avoid
paying extra, and I have nowhere to put my backpack except under the seat – which I really shouldn’t have to do, as some people are
clearly shoving everything they own into the overhead.
In a related matter, what’s the ‘optional’ service charge on my restaurant bill all about? It’s almost like you don’t trust me to leave a tip
for good service. Seriously – where’s the love?
Mobile phone manufacturers: I already want your latest model. You don’t need to slow down my phone data to make me want it more.
Also, good job to whoever invented that little handle thing you can stick on the back of your phone. It’s actually really great.
Internet providers: please see feedback for airlines. If I sign up for £20.99 a month, it should be £20.99 a month. I don’t want my first
bill to be £53.70. It’s time to be more upfront about upfront costs!
Petrol stations, I really appreciate that some of you have started putting hand sanitiser dispensers by the pump. But what’s taking the
rest of you so long?
On the subject of fish and chips, I am generally pleased with the product and service I have received. But a little tip: those little
wooden forks you give make things pretty awkward – especially when it comes to navigating a chunky fillet of cod. Larger forks would
definitely improve the overall experience.
Subscription services for music: yes.
Subscription services for fancy socks: no.
Car manufacturers, I absolutely love all the technology you’re putting into my dashboard. But please don’t start acting like the phone
companies and build my car to stop working after three years. Because if you do, I give you my word, I’ll leave you forever. Wireless
phone charging is cool though.
Finally, to every reasonably priced hotel chain I’ve stayed in for the last two years: those free breakfasts with the self-serve coffee
machines have made me happier than you could possibly imagine. Maybe it’s just me (and it probably is), but everything feels better
with a cappuccino – especially when you’re in charge of how much chocolate goes on top.
Thanks for listening. I hope it helps. And if any of you wish to discuss these matters further, please don’t hesitate
to get in touch.
Sincerely,
Callum Reed
Birmingham